


Then He Acted

by Shinaka



Category: Fire Emblem: Fuukasetsugetsu | Fire Emblem: Three Houses
Genre: Emotional Hurt/Comfort, First Kiss, M/M, Oblivious Sexual Attraction, Pining, Requited Love, Spoilers for Post-Timeskip | War Phase (Fire Emblem: Three Houses), Verdant Wind route, oblivious to love
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-11-18
Updated: 2019-11-18
Packaged: 2021-02-08 11:10:34
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,482
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21475039
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Shinaka/pseuds/Shinaka
Summary: Five times Raphael finds himself wanting Ignatz but doesn't act upon his impulses because he’s either oblivious to his own feelings or he thinks there is no place for them.Then there is one time he does (with great results).Spans the pre- and post-timeskip timeline with references to their supports and spoilers for the final boss of Verdant Wind.
Relationships: Raphael Kirsten/Ignatz Victor
Comments: 8
Kudos: 78





	1. Five Times He Didn't

**Author's Note:**

> I should be working on my NaNoWriMo fic but these boys didn't want to let go just yet, so I had to write this for them.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Five times Raphael didn't act on his desires.

_one._

In his room, Ignatz’s trousers are riding up, up, and Raphael’s eyes follow the skin that’s revealed, up, up.

“It’s hotter than I thought today,” Ignatz says, as he rolls up the cuffs to his knees, painted a light pink.

Both legs are pale and creamy, and Raphael has the sudden thought that he might like to lift his friend’s legs by the ankle and give them a long, slow lick. From the tops of his feet to what little he can see of his thighs when Ignatz kneels and the trousers ride up, up some more.

Ignatz is the sweetest best friend he can have, so his skin would probably taste just as sweet.

But as soon as Ignatz looks at him, head tilted in the form of a question, Raphael hurriedly banishes the thought out of shame. Do friends do things like that to each other, even in their imaginations?

(Then he finds out later that week that his parents had died, Ignatz begins to avoid him, and suddenly he has to throw himself into growing up much sooner than he expected.)

_two._

Ignatz is standing ahead of him in line for lunch at the dining hall. 

Although he wants to call out to him, Raphael has already been warned by Seteth a few days ago about “proper decorum” and more importantly, about the risks of being kicked out with no food if he makes a huge racket.

So Raphael sullenly keeps his mouth shut and settles instead for staring at the back of his head, hoping Ignatz will somehow notice and turn around.

There’s no way Ignatz can keep avoiding him, right? His eyes travel down his head until they reach his neck.

Only a slight sliver of skin peeks out from between the curl of his hair and the fancy collar thing he wears that Raphael can’t remember the name of. But it is tempting nevertheless to imagine his thumb swiping across his skin, eliciting a gasp from Ignatz, before he turns around and looks with flushed cheeks at Raphael –

“Can you move already?” A girl from behind angrily prods him, and Raphael finds himself moving with the line once more, the image of Ignatz’s cheeks discarded as soon as it came.

_three._

Everything should be all well and good between them again. After all, Raphael’s told Ignatz to knock off feeling guilty over his parents’ deaths. And if Raphael is the one telling him to stop worrying, then surely he’ll stop and go back to normal.

But Ignatz becomes only more elusive than ever. And even though Raphael is definitely the stronger of the two, his friend has always been much faster, no matter how hard he yells and lumbers after him.

When Raphael catches a glimpse of him in the training grounds, however, he decides to not run after him for once. Instead, he uses the breathing technique he’s learned from Shamir to hide his presence and to watch Ignatz from the sidelines.

As Ignatz shoots arrow after arrow at training targets, Raphael follows the beads of sweat trailing down his face, down his neck, and under the collar. His eyes jump then to the bare skin of his forearms and legs, note how taut the lines of his muscles have become.

Ignatz is growing apart from him, growing up without him. If only he would talk to him again and spend time together together like they used to. Raphael can even teach him how to train his muscles more effectively, place his hands on him so he can give him a personal demonstration of how exactly to strengthen his core and arms – 

Raphael tucks himself behind a pillar in the room and draws a shuddering sigh.

He just wants his friend back.

_four._

Raphael is the happiest he’s ever been.

He has his best friend back. He has Ignatz back.

As Ignatz looks up wonderingly at him, Raphael can’t help but marvel at the soft pink of his cheeks, his large brown eyes smooth as glass and as revealing. Ignatz has always worn his heart in his eyes, and right now Raphael feels very warm because of what he sees in them.

Utter relief and happiness. Exactly how Raphael feels, too.

Only one thing can make this moment even more perfect, his mind begins to greedily plan. What if he were to tousle his hair and then drop a quick kiss on his friend’s forehead?

But when Ignatz turns around and starts shyly showing him the latest painting he’s been working on, the moment passes and he kicks himself for even thinking of taking advantage, for indulging in ever more frequent thoughts of his friend in… non-friendly ways. It’s enough for him that they are back to normal. 

Isn’t it?

_five._

Five long years and a rout of thieves later, and Raphael is with Ignatz in front of their old dorms.

They’ve already caught each other up on their respective families, their whereabouts and adventures during their separation, and what their plans will be moving forward. Right now, they really should be picking through their rooms and seeing if the beds are still intact.

But Ignatz wants to look up at the moon and the stars. And whenever his eyes shimmer in that way, Raphael knows better than to keep him from the beauty he wants to see.

Even if he doesn’t entirely understand the depth of his friend’s love for nature and the goddess, he knows that if Ignatz is happy about those things, then that’s all that matters.

“Raphael, look up! Doesn’t the moon look so full and lovely tonight? And to think, we came back together on such a night. It’s like a sign from the goddess."

He sighs deeply, contentedly at the sight. When Raphael looks up himself, he does indeed see a moon that’s fat and overwhelmingly bright. It even sends a small tingle down his spine, which he’s sure Ignatz would be happy to hear about.

When he turns to look at him again though, his breath catches.

Moonlight slants upon and drapes his friend in a soft glow that casts him as a saint. His hair, eyes, nose, and lips turned up to the sky – they catch the light and turn him ethereal, and even if Raphael can’t ever put what he’s feeling into words that would satisfy the two of them, he knows he wants to kneel before him.

At that moment, he is sure the goddess had plucked Ignatz out of the stars and placed him before Raphael to be worshipped.

Ignatz turns around to look at him then. Maybe he has a strange look on his face because his friend’s brow crinkles and he asks, “Are you all right, Raphael?”

“Uh, yeah, sorry about that! Just got distracted by the uh, moon?"

Ignatz looks somewhat skeptical but nods. “It really is wonderful. I think I’ll probably stay up a little longer just to paint it."

Under the moonlight, Ignatz’s earnest smile makes him even more beautiful and Raphael itches to envelope him in a hug and press his lips to his –

_Oh. _

He is in love with him.

_But does Ignatz feel the same? _

He looks back at him and smiles, tells him to go ahead and paint. 

But he does not act on what he wants most.


	2. Then One Time He Did

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> He finally acts.

Raphael is dimly aware of the fact that this might be their last night alive.

An undead being with an entire army at his heels that’s been tearing through fields, towns, and villages left and right, while possessing none of the qualms of the Empire military. Nemesis is quite possibly the worst threat Fodlan has ever faced since, well... himself. Raphael has long stopped trying to work out how that’s possible. But he knows that the professor and Claude will need every last drop of strength from their forces in order to attain victory.

He’s not afraid. Nemesis is clearly a bad guy and he knows how to deal with those very well by now.

But even so, he can’t seem to fall asleep, no matter how much he yawns or feels the weight of his eyelids pressing down on his consciousness. Next to him, he can hear Ignatz shifting within his bedroll, and although he tries to be very quiet about it, Raphael has had sleepovers with him so much that he has long mapped out the way he breathes when he’s asleep.

“Ignatz? Can’t sleep either?”

The movements immediately stop. A moment later, “No…”

“Hey, that’s all right! Want to just talk until we do?”

It’s pitch dark in the tent so Raphael senses rather than sees that Ignatz has turned his body to face him.

“That would be nice, Raphael,” he says quietly. 

The large man doesn’t have to ask why Ignatz is still awake. Ever since they were children, Ignatz has always been prone to bouts of anxiety, which Raphael thinks unfair. His friend is so talented, kind, and handsome – for his own mind to turn on him seems nothing less than a cruel trick by the goddess. 

(But if Ignatz would have him, he would not mind a life of soothing his fears and making sure he knows he is much stronger than he thinks he is.)

“I think the first thing I’m going to do when the war is over is go home and check on gramps and Maya. It’s been so long since I’ve last seen them! Maya’s probably as tall as you now, Ig. Do you want to come with me?”

A pause. “If we survive, then of course. I haven’t seen them in so long. But…”

Raphael hears Ignatz take in a deep breath. “But everything I’ve heard about Nemesis has been nothing but terrifying. I trust in the professor, I really do. But I’m still really scared anyways.”

Then he hears sniffling, then soft sobbing, and Raphael’s heart breaks.

“Ignatz, you’re going to be okay. You’ve always pulled through in the end! Remember all those times your arrows have gotten me and the rest of us out of trouble? Or when you helped direct me and my battalion to go around the castle rather than over the bridge that time? And what about when you stuck your neck out for the professor – “

“I-I know, Raph… But this time… it’s much more serious! The stakes are so high!”

Again he asks himself. Why would the goddess make Ignatz so afraid to trust in himself even when faced with so much evidence to the contrary?

“The Empire was a really big threat, too. Edelgard was no picnic! And there was uh, those Agarthans, and they had a lot of really strange technology we didn’t understand. But we still beat them!” Raphael beats a fist against his chest for emphasis. “Tomorrow’s gonna be tough, I get it, but it’s not like we haven’t faced huge enemies before!”

Even though Raphael came into this conversation already unafraid of fighting Nemesis, he can’t help but be heartened by his own words. The professor and Claude have already pulled off so many smart schemes to save the day. Tomorrow should really be no different from those other times when the odds seemed to be against them, but then an amazing plan would be revealed or their persistence would carry them through in the end.

But Ignatz continues to weep. “I g-get what you’re saying, and I really want to believe it… It’s just – It’s really hard for me right now...”

There’s a lump in his throat and tears prick his own eyes. How can he make him _believe_? All he wants is for Ignatz to feel whole and secure in himself.

Then he knows.

In one quick movement, Raphael reaches over to him and scoops him up in his arms, bedroll and all, and presses his face against Ignatz’s cheek. Against his skin, he feels the wetness of tears, Ignatz’s eyelashes fluttering rapidly against his face out of shock, as well as the warm air of his breath.

“Raphael?”

“I can’t let you not believe in yourself,” he whispers into Ignatz’s ear. “It hurts me when you do that to yourself. So can you just… believe in me instead?”

He squeezes Ignatz as hard as he can without hurting him, give him that much needed sense of support. And his friend is responding to it, his body relaxing in his hold, and he’s even wrapping his arms around his broad shoulders.

“If you can believe in me, then I swear by the goddess that what I say about you is a hundred percent true. No, a hundred and ten percent true!”

Ignatz laughs, a sound that warms Raphael’s heart. “ You know that a hundred and ten percent is not possible.”

“Fine,” he says, but nevertheless grinning. “But Ig, have I ever steered you wrong?”

He tucks his face down, against Raphael’s neck. “N-no. You haven’t.”

“There you go! So believe in me!”

Another sweet chuckle. “With an argument like that, I can’t help but concede this time.”

Raphael kisses him on the top of his head, flushed with happiness that Ignatz is no longer in low spirits. “You’re still a winner to me!”

He realizes his mistake as soon as the words leave his mouth and Ignatz stiffens in his embrace.

“I’m – I’m so sorry, Ig, I didn’t mean to – I won’t do that again!”

Raphael tries to let go of Ignatz, only for him to wrap his arms more tightly around Raphael.

“No! I was just shocked at first.” He lifts his head to rub his cheek against Raphael’s. “Don’t let go. And if you want to – to kiss me again, I wouldn’t mind at all. In fact, can I?"

When Raphael nods mutely against him, he takes that as permission to lay a soft kiss on his cheek.

Has anybody ever died from their heart beating too quickly? Raphael doesn’t think he’s ever heard any stories of that happening but he might be the first that that happens to. But if he doesn’t, he wants to commit this moment to memory, remember the gentle caress of lips against his face and Ignatz’s trembling afterwards as if it has taken all of his courage to do so.

Didn’t he say that Ignatz always pulls through in the end?

“You always know how to make me feel happy, no matter what,” Ignatz begins. “So can I… stay with you tonight? Like this?”

Raphael does eventually answer his question.

But only after he paints Ignatz with small kisses across his brow, his cheeks, his nose, and finally, his mouth, where he lingers longest and patiently lets Ignatz learn how best to enjoy his best friend’s lips.

For the rest of the night, they sleep soundly.

The next day, they rise to meet their strongest foe yet and they defeat him and live

Together.


End file.
